At Arm's Reach
by JoJo Jones
Summary: This story follows Oscar Choi, and how he found his true love, right before his mission. Summaries are not my strong point, so please R & R! More chapters to come.
1. Prologue: The Ending

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own any characters from Armageddon nor do I own any part of the movie. I am not seeking a profit for this story and have no connections with the actors, writers, directors, ect_.

**P/L:** This is the story of how Oscar found his true love, right before his mission.

**Author's Note:** I would also like to add that this is the first fan-fic that I ever wrote. After watching Armageddon for the first time I felt like I had to commemorate Oscar in some way. Ya gotta love 'em! I've been hooked on writing ever since.

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Prologue: The Ending 

I caressed the cold golden metal ring I had in my hand, my undivided attention focused on the small radio that I had placed inside my red truck. I can still remember when I first received Oscar's note, the address being NASA-Houston, Texas, that is, since it was yesterday. It seemed pretty silly to me when I found out it was from Oscar, considering we'd been broken up for at least a month or so. In fact, the first thing that came to my mind was, _God Oscar, what'd you do this time?_ I thought he would be asking for me to pay his way out of trouble since that's always what I did when we were together. But right before I threw it into my fireplace, something told me to read what it said. _Wouldn't hurt_, I thought, _I can always burn it after I read it_. So I opened the letter and this is what it said:

_Dear Connie,_

_Hey, this is Oscar. You may have known that it was from me, but I wasn't even sure if you'd read this so I put that anyway. I bet it seems weird that I'm writing this to you. I'm sure you hate my guts even at this moment. But I have something I want to tell you. Now I can't tell you why or what I'm doing, it's top-secret stuff you know?_

_But I got arrested yesterday. Now wait a moment before you stop reading this! I'm not done with my story. Good. You are reading this aren't you? Anyway, me and my friends went to this uhhh… I don't know how to put it. Uhhh… Well, this place called Love and Rockhound (You remember him?) got into this fight with this big biker dude and so everybody starts joining into the fight so I had to too, right? Well somebody calls the police and that's how we got arrested but, while we were lined up against the fence getting our hand cuffs put on, I thought about how big this mission I'm doing is and if I come back I'll be a real hero! And just getting arrested made me think of you and I want you to be proud of me, for once. So while everybody was yelling all this stuff and resisting to be arrested I just rested my head on that fence and stayed quiet._

_This means a lot to me, (this is like deep blue hero stuff you know?) and I want you to be there to see it. And listen, if I go through with all of this all of my parking tickets will be wiped off my record! I'll be clean! Well almost. If this note has touched you in the least bit, please hurry before tomorrow and go to Florida, at the location of the Rocket launch site, which was given out on the news. Please come. Now I better go, since I've been training for this day we've had an early bedtime. Well, hope to see you there._

_With lots of love (even if you don't care),_

**Oscar Choi **

When I read that note, my heart crumbled. Oscar's not the sharpest tack in the shed but he covers up for it so well. I could feel my eyes get a familiar blur and sting. I quickly began rubbing my face to pull myself together. _Oscar, why do you have to sound so pitiful?_ This _was_ my old boyfriend; I shouldn't have any feelings for him now right? But I did. Dating a guy like Oscar is an experience no one could forget. That's what brought me to the launch site today. But to tell you the truth, even when I met Oscar it wasn't the normal boy meets girl…

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"Blue Cobra this is Red Leader we have a nine-twenty on Greenspring Avenue. We need you over there to check it out. Over." Came onto my radio as I was driving around in my police car. I picked it up and spoke into it, "Rodger. I guess this is a last day mission right Red Leader? Over." I was going to quit the NMPD (New Mexico Police Department) today; I was tired of being a policewoman and ready to get home. "Affirmative. We need to make your experience in the NMPD a rememberable one. And the person you're going to be seeing is quite familiar with the law. In fact, six states know him very well, and that's not including us. Over." I had a feeling I knew who the police department was talking about. Oscar Choi, a Geologist who lives just outside of El Paso. In six states he's gotten fifty-two parking tickets. In New Mexico he's gotten fifty-one. I guess I'm going to even that up for him.

I've never met or seen this man. But I sure have heard of him and several of his friends. As I pulled into the Avenue I recognized a beaten pick-up truck in the parked in the fire lane of several stores. I parked right behind it and got out with my note pad. When I got beside the truck I began to issue the ticket. Almost finishing it I heard someone, most likely Oscar, calling out to me. "Officer, hey Officer! Hold on just a sec. ok?" He said coming toward the car. I ignored him, illegal parking is illegal parking. And he can't change that. "Are you listening to me? I haven't even parked this car very long, and nothing's happened right? Ain't that all that matters?" His words stopped abruptly as he came around the car, getting a full view of me. Probably just realizing that I was a girl. I do that on purpose too, for some reason girl cops aren't always respected as well as the guys.

I wore my hair up into a tight bun that was covered up by my police hat, and I wore my clothes loosely so my figure wouldn't be noticeable. After I finished the ticket I handed it to him. I also was surprised with how Oscar looked. He was quite handsome, though he had a rugged appearance. He had a barely noticeable shadow of whiskers and long blond hair that reached halfway down his neck. His eyes were a beautiful blue and it looked like nice lips too. "Your right sir. Nothing has happened. But let's say that something did happen. Like that store right there caught on fire and they called the fire department. Well, when that fire truck turned the corner it'd have to wait a few minutes _because_ of your _illegal_ parking. And who knows what would happen then? Someone might loose a life because of you. And that's nothing to be proud of is it Mr. Choi?" I told him.

"No ma'am. It isn't. Hey, how'd you know who I am?"

"Just a guess. Considering that this is your fifty-second parking ticket in this state."

"Oh. Uhh… could I ask you what your name is?"

"You can call me Officer Madison. Now sir if you could please move your car."

"Officer Madison eh? Has anyone ever told you that you are the _hottest_ policewoman they have ever seen? You know you can't hide your figure under those police clothes right?"

I was loosing my patience.

"No sir, I didn't, but it sure seemed to work with you for a moment didn't it?"

Oscar was silent.

"Now _please_ move your car. Even at this moment we are chancing blocking a fire truck that could be coming."

"You're not very optimistic are you?"

"Sir! Don't test my patience. It's people like you that's caused me to quit my job." After saying that I could've slapped myself.

"You're quitting?"

I sighed. "Yes. Now what will make you move this truck? I'm sure you don't want me to arrest you."

"Uhhh…Well that wouldn't seem so bad as long as you're doing it. Does it involve handcuffs?"

I rolled my eyes. The nerve of men sometimes. "Then what?"

Oscar smiled.

"No. No, listen after I quit my job I'm going home. And nothing's going to stop me. Not even you."

"That was harsh. But I guess this truck's gonna stay where it is."

I was defiantly mad now.

"Give me your keys."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Oh you might if you even want to get a chance of dating me. But right now with all this resistance I may never consider it."

"Fine." With a sign of reluctance he handed them over.

I then unlocked the door and cranked up the car, parked it in a parking space and got out. Oscar quickly jogged over. "Does this mean that you'll consider dating me?" I looked away; I didn't want him to see me laughing. Gee, he's quite persistent with what he wants. I finally looked him straight in the face and saw a what appeared to be a hopeful expression. We were quiet for a few minutes, just staring at each other. I don't know about Oscar, but it was very hard not to come closer to him. Even not to kiss him, because the way his lips were, so full and well, I don't know. It looked almost like he was beginning to pucker up.

I took a deep breath. "How…how about we meet tomorrow at the coffee shop and talk it over?"

"Would that be a date?"

I looked down at the ground. I'm sure that a part of me was saying yes but I didn't want to show it.

I smiled. "How 'bout you figure it out?"

I then saw a rush of excitement come into Oscar, he was lost for words. He then excitedly let out a "Yes!" as I began to walk to my police car. But he quickly followed me and turned me around and placed his hands on my arms and brought me toward him. And then he kissed me! What a wonderful kiss too. This time I was the one who was speechless. Fighting not to smile I still felt it come through. "Now I never said it was a date."

"You didn't have to."

I got out of his grip. I mean, what if another police drove by and saw him hugging me! I'd be the laughing stock of the whole Police Department! "Let's meet at the coffee shop here cause I live down in Culbertson, Texas and to find a place between there and El Paso is something I don't want to think about."

"Ok, but you better move your car. I mean, what if some fire truck needs to get by? I can't believe it, a policeman doing illegal parking. Do you want me to give you this ticket? I will unless you move it." He joked. I laughed all the way to my car. Then as I left I drove past him and said, "Is this better Officer?" He smiled, "Yep."

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Sometimes I wonder why I have the radio turned on. It's not like I'm listening to it. There're too many memories to count that I've had with Oscar. And just thinking about them gives me that warm feeling. Well, at least most of the memories do. Our break-up, you might say, is quite original. But as hard as I can think, I don't believe I can come up with an odd break-up. They've all been covered.

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For once we were going to Oscar's house. Seems pretty odd that we don't go to his house often, this is only the third or fourth time. Maybe that's why I was so excited. The sun was close to setting as we pulled into his dusty driveway. And of course there were certain matters that Oscar had to attend to once arriving home, such as feeding his horses. While it was the usual routine that occurred when I visited him, I had no problem with it. There was something about Oscar that could turn the most ordinary things into extraordinary.

We stared at the horses for a moment when I looked up at the sky as it began to turn pink. Turning to Oscar I noticed that he seemed to turn to me at the same time. We both began to speak and said together, "How about a nice sunset ride?" We laughed and both agreed. As Oscar began to walk into the pin he turned to me and said, "Sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time with you. We're even beginning to think the same thoughts."

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The wind flowing through my hair felt wonderful and the air had a nice earthly smell. It'd been awhile since I had rode on the nice long plains of Texas. Such a beautiful sunset, too. As I looked back, Oscar came trotting beside me. "Gosh, that sunset's so beautiful," He said. I agreed. "But y'know the best way to watch a sunset like this is: let go of the reigns, raise your hands in the air, and lean back." As I did a smile came across my face. Oscar was right. The things he comes up with never cease to amaze me. Along with the fact that even when he leaned back, his cowboy hat stayed on his head. And then I heard a howl, not from a coyote, but from Oscar. I laughed, "You know you are the worst sounding coyote I have ever seen!" He smiled. "Just try it." I leaned back again and let out a howl.

"Yes?" Oscar asked.

"Well, I sound better than you," I smiled. And so we continued until the stars appeared.

Once the stars were out Oscar and I lied down on the hard plain ground, pointing out constellations. "I love staring at the stars," I said, "I don't know what it is but just looking at them seems so magical. I dunno. I'm probably sounding stupid to you."

"Oh no, go right on ahead. I sounded stupid to you when I howled."

"It's like, so amazing to think about our solar system. And, whenever I feel lonely, I just stare up at the stars."

"How's that supposed to help?"

"Sometimes just to think that when you're away from someone you love, that they can be staring at the same star."

"Oh. Which star are you staring at?"

I pointed it out, "That one."

"Ok."

I smiled.

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When we got back to the house, the first thing Oscar did was check his mail. I followed over behind him, even though it wasn't my business, Oscar wouldn't need to hide anything from me. One address, however, stood out when I read it, "Oscar, who's Marie?" I noticed him getting a little uncomfortable. "Oh umm…She's my uh, cousin. Yeah. My cousin who lives in Illinois." For some reason I didn't like Oscar's discomfort. It made me wonder whether he was telling the truth or not. "It's getting late," He said, "let's go ahead inside."

I woke up early that morning to find myself in an extra pair of Oscar's pajamas and in his own bed. My head was resting on his shoulder while one of my arms was wrapped around his body. The arm of the shoulder I was resting on was placed lightly on my side. It was a nice surprise but I felt rather eager to read a certain letter of Oscar's. I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. He quickly turned his head and kissed me on the lips. "I love you," he said in a sleepy voice. I smiled, I didn't know Oscar sleep talked. Much less kissed in his sleep. "I love you too," I whispered, at that moment I was hoping so bad that Marie was just a cousin and not what I thought. So I then got up and headed into his living room.

I quietly opened the letter and began to read it. What I read could've never been from a cousin. It was filled with sentences like, "I can never forget what a lovely experience it was" and "I hope we can meet again" and the one that hurt me the most was "Love like this is something you can't ignore. Why don't you dump that girlfriend of yours and stay with me for a while?" I didn't know how to feel after reading that letter. Anger, pain, sadness, and confusion were all of what I was feeling at that moment. I tried to hold back the tears, but they still flowed. It didn't seem real to me. He just told me that he loved me, how could he just go out on me? I quickly grabbed a pen and one of his sticky notes and began to write:

_Dear Oscar,_

_I just wrote this note to say good-bye. Because I'm not sure what you thought of me but I like a guy that's fully dedicated to his girlfriend. Don't try to talk me out of it. You've hurt me bad enough and I hope never to see you again. Love that you have for Marie is something you can't ignore. So why don't you date her? I'm walking to El Paso and then getting a ride home. So don't worry about me (not like you would). Don't follow. I still love you. But, I can't carry on if that love's not returned._

_Good-Bye,_

_Connie_

I then went and changed into my clothes and got my stuff. As I left I unfortunately had to walk past Oscar who was still in bed. He looked so innocent; it was almost too hard to believe that he ever cheated on me. I couldn't help but get one last kiss. And right before I walked out of the door I whispered, "We had something Oscar. But you let it slip away."

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I find it kind of funny that a note would not also tear us apart but also bring us together. And now as I pray that Oscar will be safe up there in space I have that great love for him again. Not just because of the note either. I guess you could say I have no choice now, considering I'm his fiancé. Yep, believe it or not, this very morning he proposed to me…

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As I came toward the giant doors of NASA I felt a bit of anxiety. I had no idea of what Oscar was doing. Well, I had a clue, but Oscar? No, I don't think Oscar would do something like this. Would he? I walked up to the front desk and asked where Oscar Choi would be. He pointed me toward the astronaut suit up room. All of a sudden I felt scared. I don't know why but I did. I ran into the suit up room as fast as I could. When I walked in, what I saw surprised me.

Bear, Chick, Rockhound, Max, A.J. and a lot of Oscar's other friends were all suited up in astronaut outfits. I searched the room for Oscar but couldn't quite find him. Then I heard a familiar voice from behind me, "Hello Princess Leia." I quickly turned around. A rush of relief came over me. I basically jumped onto Oscar and clung my arms around his neck. "Oh Oscar—I mean Han Solo! Don't scare me like that!"

"I didn't think you'd come." He told me changing the subject.

"Well I wasn't planning on it. But, well, I don't know. I came."

"Cause it didn't seem like you read any of my other letters, considering I never got a reply."

"Do you think I got over what you did to me real easily?" I then realized that I was still hugging him around the neck. I quickly let go.

"What about me? You don't know how I felt when I woke up to see you gone."

"Well, you shouldn't have done anything with that Marie girl."

"I didn't! She was all over me! I tried to shake her off but I couldn't."—He then parted my golden brown hair and held it up kind of like Princess Leia's hair—"Y'know? Your hair's kind of like Princess Leia's."

I smiled and without thinking began to fiddle with his hair. "Yeah, well you're the blondest Han Solo I have ever seen." He smiled considering that I was flirting when I didn't even want to. "So uh, what's with all the astronaut suits?" I asked.

"Well, you watched the news about that big asteroid that's gonna cause the end of the world?"—I nodded—"Well, we're the team of astronauts that are going to stop it."

I felt that scared feeling again. "But… Oscar you could _die_ doing that mission!"

"Oh so you do care." He smiled. I noticed he tried to sound comical but he couldn't hide his own fear. I felt so overcome, sure I hated Oscar for what he did, but, I still loved him. I wish I didn't but I did. Then I looked over at A.J. and Grace. I remember a while back when I first met them that they had to keep their love a secret considering that Grace's dad, Harry Stamper, probably wouldn't stand for it. But it seemed that they weren't keeping it a secret any more. Oscar saw what I was looking at said, "They're engaged."

Oscar then gave a questioning look to both Bear and Rockhound. They both nodded. And to my surprise, Oscar got down on one knee. I tried to conceal my excitement but I'm not sure if I could. "Connie," He said, "now I know you're probably still mad at me. And I understand that, but you… you are the only person that stuck out in my mind that I had to see if this was my last day on Earth. And I never meant to hurt you. You know I would never mean to hurt you. And… and you don't how bad it hurt me. What I'm trying to say is… is…"—he searched his pockets until he brought out a ring, a cheep simple golden ring that was most likely bought from a twenty-five cent machine, and held it out to me—"is… God why is this so hard… Connie Madison, will you marry me?"

I held the ring in my hand, studying it for a few minutes. A look of uneasiness came across Oscar's face, "I know that it isn't the best engagement ring. But when I come back I'll buy another, better, ring. I was rushed and that was all that I could come up with." I fought the tears real bad at this moment. Then I heard Rockhound say to Bear, "Who would've ever guessed that Oscar would marry a policewoman?" And Bear's reply made me smile, "Yeah, but she's a _hot_ policewoman." Oscar turned around toward them, "Hey! That's my fiancé you're talking about"—he then turned to me—"right?" I smiled and decided to let the tears flow. "Oscar, I have loved you ever since I handed you that parking ticket, and I always will."

"Is that a yes?"

I then replied the same words as when we first met. "How 'bout you figure it out?"

And once again Oscar showed that same rush of excitement as before, "She, she said yes! Did you, did you hear that?! She said yes!" And when he got up he embraced me in a hug and kissed me so passionately that I believe that nothing else has been better. We stayed like that for a while, even though it was quite an awkward position with him in that bright orange astronaut suit. Once we broke apart I saw Oscar had a serious face as he realized what he was getting into. "Y'know? Now… now I have a reason to live and come back to Earth. Maybe it was stupid to propose today. I…I don't want to, to die on you."

"Oh Oscar, don't think like that. Besides, Han Solo doesn't die. You should know that."

Oscar seemed to take my joke seriously and just said, "Yeah." Before I knew it a N.A.S.A personnel came in and told everybody it was time to load up. Oscar began to leave when I grabbed his hand, "I'll be watching you on my T.V."—I smiled—"my hero, my husband." He then kissed me one last time. "I'm coming back," he said, "cause I'm getting married, to the most beautiful woman in this galaxy!" And as he walked out that door, I silently said through strong tears, "Bye Oscar." He looked back, though I couldn't see his expression because of the blurriness in my eyes.

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And now here I am, waiting for news to come in about our brave astronauts. I decided that for any personal information the radio wouldn't help, so I turned it off. Now I'm just busy staring at a picture of Oscar and me that was taken when we were dating. I tried to imagine Oscar's strong arm resting on my shoulder like it was in the picture. But it didn't seem to take the same effect as in real life. I couldn't wait for Oscar to get home, to hold him in my arms again. I've decided that we're going to have a farm, with everything, horses, cows, chickens, pigs, and we'll raise a kid. I'm not sure what its name would be; I'll let both of us figure that one out. I smiled, _Connie Choi, I like that. It has a nice ring to it._

I looked up and noticed Grace coming toward me. I wonder what's wrong? No, it can't be. It can't be what I'm thinking. I jumped out of my car and quickly came over to her. I saw tears streaming down her cheeks. "Grace, Grace what's the matter? Oh God, don't tell me. Please, don't tell me—" I felt the fear and pain inside of me, my eyes began to water. Grace looked up, "Oscar's dead."—After that sentence I completely broke down—"And so is A.J, and Bear, all of the _Independence_ team. Connie, they hit an asteroid. They're dead. They're all dead." She them embraced me with a hug. Both of us crying hard. The pain was so great, oh so bad. It was like I had been torn, ripped to shreds. It was unbearable. It didn't seem real. More like a dream, no, not a dream a nightmare. One I wanted to wake up to. Yes, that'd be nice to wake up and be back in bed with Oscar. I looked at Grace, "Please…please tell me this is a dream, tell me this isn't real."

"I wish." She replied.

Oh all I wanted to do was lie down, I was already feeling quite dizzy.

"But he… he said he'd c-come back. He said he'd come back. He…he just can't die…he can't… Grace, I'm getting married to him. He can't die. I…I told him he can't die…" I cried sounding stupid.

"I…I know Connie. Me too."

"I'm going to get in my car now. And…and I don't know what I'll do. I might just go on crying. Grace, I want him back. He was taken from me Grace, he was…he was taken from me…" I then got back in my car and closed the door. Why? Why'd he have to die? He can't! He just can't! I felt so empty, so alone. I stared at the engagement ring. It only made the tears come harder. I couldn't imagine Oscar anymore, him holding me or anything like that. He seemed more like something I made up. It didn't matter, he was gone. I became a widow before we even married. No farm, no animals, no kid, I'll never see Oscar again. I scrunched up into a ball and continued to cry.

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I watched the remains of the astronaut teams walk out of the space shuttle. Who knows why I was watching, maybe hoping that somehow Oscar would walk out. I saw everybody getting hugs and welcomed back home. Not me, I stood back in the corner just watching happiness spread over the world. They didn't care that Oscar was killed. All they care about is that we're safe. Which, I guess that's the important thing. It even turned out that A.J. and Bear lived through _Independence_'s crash. It made me feel worse to watch Grace and A.J. hugging. That could've been Oscar and me… I couldn't take it anymore. I was going home. As I walked off I felt Oscar's ring slip through my fingers. I didn't care; it'd just be another bad memory.

What I didn't know was that Grace and A.J. had followed me. "Connie!" Grace called out, "Connie wait!" I turned around, "What?" My voice cracked from so long of crying.

"You dropped your ring."

"I don't care. I meant to. There's no use in keeping it."

Grace then took my left hand and placed it on my ring finger.

"Keep it. Oscar gave it to you for you to keep and wear. It's like having a part of him with you."

I looked down at the ring, I began to cry again.

"Connie," A.J. said, "I'm sorry about Oscar. He was a good friend to me, and I know he wouldn't want you to cry."

"It's so tough," I said, "You don't know how bad it feels—"

"But I do! I saw Oscar die. I held his dead body." He then went over and hugged me, a strong powerful hug. For a moment as I closed my eyes and it almost seemed like Oscar was hugging me.

When we let go I said fighting the tears, "Thanks. It feels good to get a hug from somebody returning. At least I didn't come here for nothing. Thanks. I'll… I'll see you again at the wedding." Then I left, to go home and get some time to collect myself.

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The night of the wedding, I came over to the hotel Grace and A.J. were staying at. I rapped my hand on the door. Grace answered it. "Hi," I said, "Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Oh no," She replied, "Come on in."

It was a nice room they stayed in. Though I'd have to say the Hotel _wasn't_ cheap. "I brought ya'll a present." I told her.

"You didn't have to do that," A.J. said, even though he showed eagerness to open it. When they unwrapped it they found inside two toy NASA rockets. "I thought you might like it. One says _Freedom_ and the other says _Independence_." I saw Grace's eyes begin to water and she looked up at me and said, "Thanks."

"Would you like to go outside on the balcony and talk?" I asked.

She gave a simple nod as her attempts to speak were hindered by her tears. As we walked out I saw A.J. place the rockets next to a picture of Grace's dad.

"Grace, I'm sorry about Harry. But I'm sure you're proud, he sacrificed his life to save the world." I told her. She just nodded and fought back the tears. I looked up into the sky, "The stars are beautiful tonight. Nice and bright," I said, though it hurt to think about Oscar, and yet at the same time it comforted me. Grace looked up, "Yea."

"You know, about a month back I was staring at these stars with a person I love. And I told him that I loved to stare at the stars, they're just some magic to it. That looking up at these stars comforts me, makes me not feel so alone. And… and that it's nice to think that someone you love just might be staring at the same star."—I looked back down at the ground, feeling the tears come—"But now I have another reason. Cause whenever I look up at these stars, I know Oscar's up there staring right back at me. And…and I don't feel alone anymore, cause I know he's still here, not just up in space, but right here in my heart. And you know what Grace? Harry's staring back at you too."


	2. Chapter 1: Undying Love

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own any characters from Armageddon nor do I own any part of the movie. I am not seeking a profit for this story and have no connections with the actors, writers, directors, ect_.

**P/L: **It is a few days after Oscar's death and it's tearing away Connie's life. She's alone at home so her fears and flashbacks take a serious toll on her. In the sadness of hearing about A.J. and Grace's honeymoon she retreats to the graveyard… and builds confidence in her faith as she finds a church.

**A/N:** Yeah, the prologue was actually meant to be just a one timer, but I couldn't help but write more about dear Oscar. I know this chapter is probably a little depressing, considering Connie is facing severe depression, but i do promise it picks up! So please don't give up on me, dear readers! And don't forget to review!

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**Chapter 1: Undying Love**

I can feel the pain still burning within me. The pain, it's ripping into me deeper and deeper. It's almost unbearable to look at old faces, my friends' faces, because I can see him just through their eyes. I can see him hugging me tightly and a warm smile upon his face. Will it ever go away? Will he ever stop haunting me? I feel like when he left, he took my soul with him, slowly killing away my life. Ripping it away, to where I no longer am alive. Present yes, heart beating, lungs expanding and closing in the beat of my breath, but I will be dead. I would not exist to the world around me, because my thoughts, my heart, my very existence would be in the past, in the memories. Like a never ending sleep.

Every night is painful to go through; I never get enough sleep from the nightmares. Or should you call them nightmares? They are always of what could've been, or even flashbacks from the past. Flashbacks…yes, I face them often. I can see him through my blurry vision of tears looking back as he walked through the large metal door to enter the _Independence_. There it goes again, the stinging pain. Oscar…

I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to the funeral. I wasn't sure if I could face the burden of being reminded of Oscar Choi, my fiancé who was one of the members of the astronaut team that saved Earth from meeting its end. But I went anyway; Grace told me it would be good for my health. It would be an awakening that Oscar won't and can't come back to me. I knew this, but my heart didn't. He still lived and thrived within my heart.

I could feel the wetness of flowing tears slip down my cheek as I watched military officials and other men carry out the empty caskets and set them on the ground followed by covering them with the American flag. I quickly turned to A.J. Frost, who was the closest to me at the time, and buried my face in his shoulder. Grasping tight onto his black jacket I slightly brought my face back into the open and watched as the preacher began his speech. The American flag was lowered onto the coffins. Feeling the sting in my eyes I quickly turned my head from the red, white, and blues and said quietly, "The color hurts my eyes."

A.J. brought his arm around me and whispered back, "It's ok Connie. There's no need for excuses." I looked up at him and as he smiled I realized a faint tear was trickling down his cheek. Over the time that their mission had ended, A.J. and I had bonded and had become closer than before. He was Oscar's best friend and told me that he was there when he died; the dreadful event of Oscar not being able to fasten his helmet on and get out of his seat. And when the _Independence_ crashed and all had calmed, he was the one who cradled Oscar's limp body.

As I bawled in A.J.'s left arm, Grace Frost firmly held his right hand. Yes, after a long relationship they had gotten married. And like me, Grace had faced a lost also: her father, Harry Stamper. Hearing her unsteady breathing I could tell she was crying. The ending prayer came and after what felt like forever the funeral was over. Relations and friend mourners said their good-byes to both others and the dead. I didn't waste any time with good-byes, this funeral atmosphere was too much.

But before I could leave I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning around I saw a swarm of secret service men with their serious faces and black sunglasses and right in the middle I saw the president of the United States. In all my life, I figured that if I ever got to meet the president I would most likely go berserk. But I was wrong; I merely turned to him with a solemn look on my face. "Miss Madison?" He questioned.

"If you don't mind Mr. President, I prefer to be called Mrs. Choi." I replied.

He slightly smiled at how I had adopted Oscar's last name anyway. "I am sorry that your fiancé was not able to make it back"—I could feel the tears beginning to fall, but I quickly bit them back—"But I want you to know that even though he lost his life he will still be honored and reckoned. I will make sure that his name is not left off as that of a hero. I wish I could've met him. Of what I heard he was a great man."

Now I'm no whiz at language arts, but I know what past tense means. _Of what I heard he_ was _a great man_. He _was_. I glanced down at the ground hoping I could pull myself together. "Yes sir, one of the greatest. Thank you, sir."

And then surprisingly he extended his hand and I shook it. Then slightly nodding I turned and entered my truck. Cranking it up, I placed my left hand on the steering wheel. Through the corner of my eye I saw the shine of my golden band. It wasn't much, just twenty-five cents. Oscar gave it to me at the last minute before takeoff, not to mention a last minute idea. Otherwise I'm sure he would've gotten a better one. But in a way, I believe it's more special that way. It's coming more from the heart than the wallet. I could feel my eyes watering again, which they had begun to do more often. My right hand moved up to the steering wheel as the car began it low putter, and I lowered my head to the point where it rested on both my hands, letting it all out, letting it all go. I cried till the sun disappeared below the hills, but I found that I could never let it all go; it was scarred within me and would always stay. And when that scar was picked at, I would always face that pain.

---------------------

Pulling into my driveway I looked over at my fields where I kept my cattle. Being a cattle rustler, my steer were the most prized possessions and most expensive things I owned, besides the presents that I had gotten from Oscar. As I stared at the fields I felt a foreign pull of my lips spread and what I thought could never happen did. I smiled. And it felt so good. But it wasn't the sight of my steer that brought it onto my face; it was the sight of them _not_ being there.

Most likely the leading bull had found yet another weak spot in the fence and used it to his advantage. I really needed to get someone to fix that fence. Pulling on my leather gloves I zipped up my policewoman jacket and got out of the car. Lately these nights had gotten a little colder than they usually were. Walking into the barn I saddled up one of my horses and set out into the cold night.

---------------------

The soft thud of my mare's hooves beating against the ground was almost like music. There was something beautiful about a night ride out in the stars, something magical. The pain didn't hurt here, not with the stars above me. I pushed my chin against my chest to fight the bite of the wind hitting my face. My horse's nostrils flared with steam.

Trotting up a gentle hill my mare came to a stop. Below us in a green meadow stood my cattle, like ghosts against the sky, their breath trailing snakelike from their snouts. With a snort one looked toward me and just as calmly turned its head and began eating again. And there it went again, the strange pulling of my lips, a smile. I looked up into the sky and stared at the rhinestone stars. At that moment, I could've sworn that Oscar was still alive, right next to me. But I ignore the feeling; after all, I had some cattle I needed to herd.

-------------------

Hanging up my black cowboy hat and shedding my gloves and jacket, which I got from once being in NMPC (New Mexico Police Department), I collapsed onto my sofa. Picking up the remote I turned on the television and changed the channel to the TV guide. But my eyes quickly switched their focus to a picture that sat right next to the TV on a stool. I soon forgot about what was on this late at night, the flashbacks hit me too hard to fight them.

The picture was of one Halloween where I talked Oscar into going trick-or-treating. Sure we got a lot of strange looks as we walked around neighborhoods standing about two or three feet above everybody else, but it was fun. Oscar dressed up as Han Solo and I dressed up as Princess Leia. I tried to remember what Grace had told me at the funeral, something like, "Look at things as good memories and don't dwell on the fact of him being dead. You'll be able to live with it like that."

But I still felt the pain, it didn't sting as bad, but I still could feel it there. I tried to reenact what felt so good herding my cattle back home: a smile. But it came to no avail, for unlike out in the fields, as I pulled my lips I felt a tear drop down my cheek. Getting up, I walked over and gently pushed the picture frame down onto the table where I wouldn't be able to look at it. And then another tear fell, and yet another. "It's late," I told myself, "I'm just needing some rest."

And so I turned off the TV and went into my room, even though I probably wouldn't get any rest tonight.

----------------------

The next morning in the middle of breakfast I got a call from Grace asking me if I wanted to have lunch with them. I told her yes since I had nothing better to do. And that's why I'm pulling up into the parking lot of Auntie Em's Diner. Getting out of the car I turned around to see them waving from inside. Smiling, which I had begun to try doing more often, I waved back. Walking inside they came up to me and we hugged. "Hey, how's it going?" I asked as cheerfully as I can. Grace glanced at A.J. with a smile, "Good."

"You feeling ok, Connie? You don't look all that well." A.J. asked me.

I was silent for a moment, I truly wasn't ok, but should I tell them that?

"Yeah," Grace agreed looking at me, "You look like you haven't gotten any sleep. And your eyes are bloodshot."

Remembering that I forgot to brush my hair I was rather glad that I was wearing my cowboy hat. "I'm fine," I replied wiping my eyes in some hope that the rings under them would disappear, "Now let's eat! I'm starving!"

Time passed by and soon we got our food. It felt good to be with A.J. and Grace; they were the only people I had to talk to. I get lonelier these days, and when I'm alone the pain can strike harder. After a reasonable amount of time, our food came. Both Grace and A.J. immediately began to eat their meal, but I picked up my fork rather cautiously. With much wariness I picked a little around my plate, not quite sure whether I could stomach too much food. Grace looked at me a little worried, "Apparently you weren't as hungry as I figured you to be."

"Well," I replied eyeballing a small amount of macaroni on my fork, "I don't really have that big of an appetite."

"Look Connie, I know we're all shook up about the deaths that have happened in the mission but, it's unhealthy to not eat."

"I am eating!"

"Not as much as you used to. I remember back before Oscar died you would sometimes even eat more than Oscar and A.J. combined."

"It has nothing to do with that, I've just not felt that much hungry anymore."

Grace sighed.

"Well, the reason that we wanted you to eat with us," A.J. began, "is that we wanted to tell you that tomorrow we're heading out on our honey moon."

I stopped everything that I was doing. "Excuse me?"

"We'll call you of course. It won't be like we'll disappear from all knowing." Grace added.

"Why? Why leave?"

"You know, after somebody gets married they always have a honey moon," A.J. told me, "It's a tradition."

"But…how can you desert me right now? Ya'll are all I have!"

Grace reached over and placed her hand on mine, "We can't help you through this Connie. This is something you have to on your own. Don't forget, you aren't the only one who has lost someone."

I closed my eyes tightly to try and fight back the tears, "I know Grace, I know. But you have A.J, you have your family, I have no one. I'm alone, and when you're alone you have more things to think about, more things to reflect on." I pulled my hand away from hers. All my closest relations had either died or have been living in some distant country.

Grace and A.J. looked at me sadly. "Listen, I understand but—" He began.

"Just shut-up!" I didn't mean to sound hateful but I didn't even realize that I had said that aloud, "You don't know half of what I'm going through!"

I got up from the booth and quickly began to walk off. I heard A.J. get up also and begin to follow me. Fastening my pace I got into my red truck before he could say anything to me and sped off. It hurt as I looked into the rear view mirror to see a disappointed and sad A.J. standing out in the parking lot watching me go. And I regretted blowing up at them, but it seems like I've changed so much since Oscar's death.

Driving down the road towards home I looked to my left to see the graveyard that Oscar was "buried" in. I decided to stop by and visit his grave, maybe talk to him. I paused for a moment at that thought, no; I won't _talk_ to him. That just sounds crazy. I'll merely say my good-bye. If I can somehow let go of him, maybe I can go on with my life.

Walking past the graves I felt a chill go down my spine and I shivered. There was something creepy about this place; I pulled my jacket closer around my body. Even in broad daylight I didn't like it. I was never much for anything that had to do with death, since it seemed like no one in my family ever had a long life. I had been through too many funerals; it was all that I could bare to have another one. Picking some flowers that had been growing along someone's tombstone, I walked up to Oscar's grave. The tombstone read: OSCAR CHOI, A TRUE BLUE HERO. Strangely I smiled despite the atmosphere; I had requested for that to be put on there. That's what he truly was.

I bent down and placed the flowers on the fresh dirt of his grave. In some way I had expected this to console me. As if, at anytime I wished, I could just come down here and visit Oscar, maybe decorate his grave with some brightness and life, which was void in a place like this. But I felt no different. Maybe because I knew that, alive or dead, Oscar wasn't here. It was just an empty grave, a commemoration to a body lost in space. All that I was visiting was a patch of Earth.

Taking off my ring I placed it on top of his tombstone, "Good-bye Oscar. I'm sorry that I can't keep the ring but as Grace said, it was like having a piece of you with me. And I've realized that it'll probably be better for both of us if I just let you go. I can't live in the past…so…until we meet again."

I stood there for a few minutes longer, giving one last look at the ring letting the wind whip through my golden brown hair. But strangely as I stood there, I felt a presence, as if someone was near me. I quickly turned around, just in time to see a dark figure disappear into nothing. My heart leapt into my throat. "Hello?" I called out, "Any one there?"

Feeling the chill again I quickly began to walk away from the grave scene. I chuckled at the joke but soon stopped myself. This was not exactly the moment for humor, and yet my laughter was uncontrollable. God, am I going insane? I looked down at the ground collecting my thoughts and when I looked up; I noticed an old stone church standing next to the cemetery, its steeple pointing towards the heavens. I didn't remembered a church being there, especially not when I first arrived.

Now, I was never very big on religion. I'm not exactly sure why, but that's how it has always been. As a child I was dragged to Sunday school like most children, and I did get some things out of it. Treat others as yourself, don't lie, honor your mother and father, and so on, and so on. But beyond that I could never quite understand it. The idea of a Heavenly Father, an all powerful being that controlled this whole universe, who wanted a personal relationship with me? I was no one special. What could I contribute to Him, anyway?

----------------------

Walking through the double doors I entered the sanctuary. I had to admit, it was a beautiful church, with red carpet and stained glass windows. Walking past the white isles with natural wood trimming, I stopped at the altar. In front of me stood the preacher's podium in the shape of the cross, and behind that, right above the baptizing tub (you could call it that couldn't you?) was a life size model of the cross. And on that cross was Jesus, his head adorned with that of the crown of thorns and his body scared.

Looking at the sculpture, I brought my hand over my heart. His scars…they were like my own. Not physical scars like the ones he endured, but internal wounds from the pains of love. And just at that moment, I felt those wounds begin to fester, and I felt that pain. Overwhelmed, I dropped to my knees and intertwined my hands in a praying motion and bowed my head, "Dear God, that is, if there is a God, I come to you now because I at a loss. Why'd you have to take Oscar away from me? Why did you have to make where I am alone? Really, I'm not sure if I can survive like this. I'm tired of everything making me cry. The memories, the friends, just my life in whole. God, I need Oscar. Please, bring him back to me. Please. Send an Angel if you have to. Amen."

Getting up and feeling a little weak legged; I sat down on the front pew. Feeling my eyes water I looked back up at the messiah.

"Something troubling you?" I heard a voice say from behind me.

It startled me, I have to say. I quickly turned around and noticed it was the preacher. "Hmmm," He continued, "I thought I had locked the doors."

Wiping my eyes, I began to stand up and say to the old man, "Well, I'm sorry to have gotten in when I wasn't supposed to. I'll go."

"No, no. Sit down, I feel like you need to talk to someone"—Squinting his eyes he peered closer at me—"Hey, aren't you one of the people who lost someone in the mission to stop the meteor?"

I nodded. He walked over next to me and slowly sat down. "So that's why I see these tears."

"Yeah, I've had trouble the past few days that he's not been with me."

"Who, my dear?"

"Oscar Choi."

He nodded understandingly, "Well, at least he's in a better place."

"I don't mean to be rude Brother…"

"My name's Philip."

"I don't mean to be rude, Brother Philip, but I am sick and tired of that saying. I long to go to that place if it is so better than here."

"Don't we all?" He said rather distantly.

"No, I mean, Heaven's a great place, but it's not that reason. Everyone I know and love is up there. Many times I've considered placing it into my own hands in deciding when I should go there."

"My child, please don't ever say something like that! God is never pleased when you take over his job. It is his decision when you should die or not. And I might also add that he does not necessarily bring people back to life, either."

"You heard my prayer?" I felt horrible; I said that prayer _because_ no one was there to hear me. I probably did things all wrong.

"Yes, well, a little. But don't worry, I won't tell." Brother Philip then gave a smile.

I smiled back. And as my eyes glanced over at the stained glass windows, I noticed that they had faded. Looking around, I searched for some contraption to check what time it was. "What is it?" Philip asked.

"Would you know what time it is?"

"Why, yes. It is"—He pulled back his sleeve to reveal his watch—"Eight-thirty."

"Well, I've enjoyed talking to you, but I better go. I've got some cattle at home that I need to tend to."

"It's been a pleasure speaking to you as well. And I hope we meet again, but next time in service." He smiled.

"I'll consider that." I replied and began to walk out of the double doors. But as I reached out for the door handle I felt a cold chill crawl down my spine and in my mind flashed flames crackling and burning. I didn't quite understand what it meant then, but when I looked back, Brother Philip was gone. There was something freaky about this whole piece of land. What was with the cold chills?

Walking out to the car I felt the cold sting of the wind brushing past me. I then got inside and cranked it up, making sure to turn on the heat system. Once pulling out, I headed in the direction towards home. If only I had realized that when I had exited the church that it had disappeared, with nothing left but fallen stone and soot and ashes.

----------------------

I unlocked my door and entered my house, dark and empty. But for the most part, quiet. Hanging up my jacket and hat I somehow found the bedroom in my sleepiness. And when I did, I gladly collapsed onto my bed, letting the coolness of it being unused for the day swoop over me. My eyes fluttered shut but I forced them back open. When you live on a farm it doesn't just take a few minutes to feed everything you own. Glancing over at my digital clock I saw it read 12:31.

Rising from the bed I walked over to the answering machine and saw that there was one message that I had yet to look at. Pressing the play button I heard the mechanical voice say: "You have one message:"—then it switched to a man's voice which sounded greatly familiar—"Hey Connie, this is A.J. Listen, about lunch today, I'm sorry to disappoint you but some things aren't always going to be the best of times, and we just have to go on with our lives. But, this death thing, it's affecting you way too much. Connie, Grace is worried about you, I'm worried—" I quickly mashed the delete button. I didn't feel like listening to the rest of the message. I was still mad at them, even though it was selfish.

Giving a deep sigh I got up and changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth. Then I turned and fed the one pet I hadn't yet: my goldfish. Not bothering to turn the lights on in my bedroom I groped for the covers and got in. Lying in bed waiting for sleep to come I recapped over the events of today. It's so quiet here, almost like no one lives here. Well, besides me that is. But, it feels so empty, so alone…


	3. Chapter 2: The Visitor

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own any characters from Armageddon nor do I own any part of the movie. I am not seeking a profit for this story and have no connections with the actors, writers, directors, ect_.

**P/L:** Out of pain Connie makes one of the worst decisions in her life… but she is soon visited by a stranger.

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Visitor**

But none of these things ever happened.

All of them—the terrible news of Oscar's death from Grace, nearly leaving behind my engagement ring as the astronauts exited the space ship, visiting Grace and A.J. after their marriage, Grace talking me into going to the funeral, A.J.'s tears, meeting the president, Blowing up in front of A.J. and Grace, visiting Oscar's grave, the strange appearance of the church—all of them only existed in my mind as I watched and waited for news of the astronauts accomplishing their mission. And then the pressure of those thoughts became too much, too overwhelming. I quickly jumped out of my truck and placing the engagement ring back on my finger I ran into the NASA building. Hurrying past security, ignoring the cries of officers saying, "Hold on there, ma'am! You can't go there!" I quickly pushed through a door reading: Restricted, only for NASA officials.

Seeing Grace I ran up to her and she looked over smiling teary eyed. Then I felt two strong arms grab hold of mine, "Don't fight, ma'am. This is security and this is a restricted area!" I didn't listen to them; I fought as hard as I could. "Oh yeah? Well I'm part of the NMPD and I want to know if my fiancé is still alive!" I didn't mean to yell but I was mad! If they think they're going to take me out of this room without hearing news about Oscar they were in for a surprise! A man by the name of Mr. Trueman rushed up to me and told the officers to let go. Adjusting my jacket and hat I looked back at them, "I quit my job but trust me; I can still pack a pretty mean punch!" And then a voice from the _Independence_ came onto one of the small TV's, "It was a close one Houston, but we managed to avoid the meteor! Everyone's safe and we're still headed on course!"

I heard a cheer rise up in the room and Grace came over and hugged me nearly crying. I could feel my eyes watering also, the joy; it was like nothing I had ever felt! "They nearly died Connie. You should've heard them; I thought we were going to be widows before we ever got married!" Breaking apart I smiled. Thank God they're safe! I'm sure if Oscar had died I most likely wouldn't have been able to live with myself!

But Oscar didn't die at all; all of that had been one horribly detailed moment of imagination as I waited for our brave men to return home. And when they did, I could not contain myself with the excitement I felt! Watching the door to the _Independence _open and a large yellow slide inflating, and then them sliding down gave me chills. These were the heroes of the world. It wasn't something like the cold war where a successful mission in Russia was bad news for America. This was something that brought everyone closer together. After all, we all faced the bitter taste of death…and pulled through.

Watching the astronauts walk towards us I quickly searched for my fiancé. They all showed the grim sadness of losing their best friends, but Oscar wasn't one of them. Finding him I broke out into a run followed by Grace. Everything after that seemed to happen in slow motion. I cried out to him, "Oscar!!!!!!!!!" but the sound didn't seem as loud as it should, like everything was muted. Grace and I began to run past the NASA personnel and when one stood in my way I quickly pushed him down. Laughing Oscar began running towards me also along with A.J. toward Grace.

I could feel the tears of joy streaming down my face as I came closer and a one point he stopped altogether and spread out his arms ready to welcome me. Although he didn't expect for me to leap on him when I reached the right distance and catching me he nearly lost his balance. Grabbing his face I kissed him, a kiss that seemed to surpass all others in the past. "Don't ever do any of that hero stuff again!" I chided him, the tears rolling down my cheeks, "I don't think I can bare the chance of you dying again!"

And then through the beautiful smile on his face I saw a tear drop down his cheek, "But honey, don't you remember? Han Solo never dies!" I kissed him again and smiled.

"Yeah well I don't believe Han Solo ever risked his life like that once he became a family man."

"Who says we aren't going to have our own adventures in the future? This is just the beginning!"

The beginning…

Yes, it's just the beginning.

And it truly was the beginning, considering we got married the next week and had our honeymoon in Ireland. Upon return we bought a house and like I had wanted, we had a farm of about any farm animal you could think of. And by the next month we found that I, Connie Choi, was pregnant. And that next year I gave birth to a baby girl December 19th. Though it was years of patience and turmoil, our little girl seemed to grow up over night. By eighteen she majored in geology and had dreams of following in her father's footsteps as a geologist. We were both very proud of her when she moved to one of the most prestigious colleges there was in Texas. Although when she left, Oscar had to comfort me that she wouldn't be gone forever and for me to stop my crying, even though he was crying himself.

And our house seemed to have that empty feeling as my imagination had made my past house. Then one morning as I lied there in bed watching Oscar sleep, she called from college. I didn't answer it for a moment, the time I had spent watching him sleep I had finally realized how the years had worn us both. His face wasn't as smooth or young as it used to be, and there were wisps of gray and white hair coming through in his blonde. But I still looked at him as the same handsome young man who hugged me as he exited the _Independence_. Finally I rolled over and picked up the phone. She had called to say that she was engaged! A wonderful little boy who went to her college that she had been dating proposed to her last night! I could feel the tears come again and I realized that our little girl was all grown up. It was all too fast, I though. When I hung up I began to roll over to tell Oscar the news when—

Oh God…

There he lied back in his astronaut suit bloodied and bruised and…dead.

--------------------

I quickly woke up to the cool atmosphere you feel in the morning at three o'clock tightly clutching my pillow. I could feel my heart thump deeply in my chest to where it pounded in my head. It throbbed and it hurt. I was sweating also, no wait, it wasn't sweat. It was tears. My pillow was wet with them. Somehow, even in my dream, some part of me knew the truth and cried because of it.

A dream, once again, what should've been a happy ending was a dream. I'm not sure if I can take this much longer. Looking out the window I saw that a downpour was on its way as there was the steady beat of rain. My bloodshot eyes moved their focus to a collection of rocks I hung up in a case on the wall. Actually, I had about two or three cases on that wall. Back when Oscar and I were dating he would always bring back a rock or mineral from his digs, even when he wasn't permitted to do so. I tried to smile picturing Oscar smuggling a piece of quartz for me or even a fossil that showed up in the rubble after dynamiting an area. But I couldn't seem to do it that night. He gave me diamonds the most though, saying that they reminded him of me. Beautiful but yet the toughest mineral there was. It just figures that a geologist would compare his girlfriend to a mineral. I began to laugh but I felt the tears come.

I looked over to my nightstand and decided to turn on the radio. Maybe it could fill up this silence and pain. Sitting up in the blurriness of tears I pressed the power button. I could feel my heart sting with pain as I thought back on the dream. I was tired of it all; even though I had just woken up (what little rest I had) I was exhausted. And it was because of the dreams. I had been having them every night since his death, and I couldn't stand it.

As one song ended on my station the announcer came on and introduced another. Absorbed in my thoughts I didn't catch what song it was and it didn't hit me until the chorus came. With disgust I realized it was "Life Goes On" by: Leanne Rimes. The chorus drilled in my head:

"Ohhh, life goes on! And it's only gonna make me strong.

It's a fact, once you get on board say goodbye 'cause you can't go back.

Ohhh, it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right,

Where I'm at, it's my life before me and it's screaming that I can't go back!"

I felt the tears come and I knew that's how I should feel, but it wasn't. I wanted to go back. I wanted Oscar to be with me. With a swipe of my hand I knocked the radio off the table and the song abruptly ended as it broke on the floor. "Shut up!" I screamed, "Don't tell me that I can't go back! You don't know how it feels! Just…just leave me alone! Why can't everyone just get off my back!?!"

Weakly getting up I walked into the bathroom and open up a cabinet. Pulling out a small plastic bottle I opened it up and swallowed some pills. It was Anti-depressant pills. I had gotten them the first time I had been showing signs of depression, but I didn't take them as regularly as I should. Staring at myself in the mirror I noticed I truly had changed. Besides my bloodshot eyes and unruly hair I had developed circles under my eyes and both my face and body had unhealthily thinned. There were some red spots also near my eyes from too much crying. Grace and A.J. were right, I didn't look very well.

I tightly closed my eyes and felt the tears run harder. I knew what I wanted to do, where I wished to be, but I wasn't sure if I could do it. What would my friends think? How would it be for them? Would they understand? Walking out of the bathroom I went into the kitchen and pulled out a piece of paper and wrote a letter. Then I entered the bathroom again and weeping harder than I believe I ever did, I took out another bottle of pills.

My body felt weak and almost like a burden to move, but I managed to place the bottle on the table. Then going into the living room I looked through the shelf of books I had till I found one which a little different than all the others. Opening it up, I found that the disguised box was empty. "Well," I said to my self, "I guess that narrows it down." But then sadly, I remembered where I had placed what I was looking for. "Oh yes…" the words felt heavy escaping my lips. Going into my bedroom I pulled out a drawer and grabbed my pistol. It felt heavy in my hand and seemed almost too much to carry.

Sitting down at the table I spun the pistol in my hand while staring at the pills. "Which one do I choose?" I weakly asked myself. Setting the gun down on the table and began to spin it. That would make it simpler. If the barrel pointed to the pills, I would overdose, and if it pointed to me, then I would shoot myself. Those thoughts stung and made my stomach churn. I can't believe it would come to this. I thought I was stronger than this. The tears fell harder now as I watched the gun spin over and over, no certain decision made yet.

And then, like a nightmare, the barrel pointed at me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, feeling my stomach tightened into a knot. Picking up the pistol I then placed it to my head, my grasp tightening. But it loosened and the gun lowered. "Oh God!" I wept. I brought it back up unsteadily and tried again, but it didn't happen. Finally giving one final sigh I raised it up to my head and began to tighten the trigger. Nothing in this world could help me imagine how painful this would be. I tightly closed my eyes letting a tear run down my cheek when—

—The doorbell rang. Thank you God the doorbell rang. It was like a wake up call to sanity. I lowered the gun and whispered, "What am I doing?" I couldn't solve my problems like this! The weakness lightened a little and I carried the pills and the gun over to the trash can. It felt so good to dump them in there, like a million tons had been lifted off my shoulders. The doorbell rang again, more impatiently than before. "Hold on a second!" I yelled. Grabbing the letter I'd written, I tore it into thousands of pieces and placed it in the trash can as well.

Walking up to the door I ran my fingers through my hair, and even though I looked horrible, and was wearing my pajamas, I opened the door to the stranger. "Ma'am?" he asked, he had dark skin and wearing a tuxedo. His hair was in dreadlocks and had calm sea green eyes, and though he looked to be around eighteen years old, he still towered over me. I knew this was a stranger and had never met him, but for some reason he seemed familiar; creepily familiar. "Yes?" I replied.

"I saw you at the cemetery and noticed you dropped this." Opening his large hands I saw my engagement ring in them.

Frowning, I slowly took the ring out of his hand, "I didn't drop this. I left it there on purpose."

The man looked up to the sky, letting the rain drops fall on his face, then brought his attention back to me, his suit was soaked, "It's raining pretty hard ma'am. May I come in?" Now I was no idiot, I watched the news and was a policewoman once, I know too well about kidnappings, murders, and rapes. And I had no intention of letting this man in, but something in my brain made me tell him, "Sure, wouldn't want you to catch cold." It was like I was hypnotized or something, like I had no choice.

He walked in and stood there rather stiffly as if he wasn't sure what move to make next. I held my hand up to my head trying to figure out why I did what I just did. Glancing at him I thought, _I could take him on, sure_. _If it came to it I could quickly knock him out and send him to jail but… what if he has a gun? _Of course, it sounds funny that I would consider my safety when I just tried to kill myself. So truly, I had nothing to worry about. "You know," he said breaking through my thoughts, "It's not good to let him go like that, you're throwing some of your best days away."

"Who are you talking about?" the picture of the dark figure that I had seen at the cemetery flashed in my mind uncontrollably.

"Oscar. Your fiancé."

"How do you know this? I was alone in the Cemetery!"

The man remained silent.

I squinted my eyes suspiciously at him and tried to see if I could read his expressions. But his face showed none. The only sign of life in that massive body was the piercing stare of his eyes, for his body remained unnaturally stiff. It was strange to watch him; it was as if he had no clue of what to do with his body, much less how to act in a house. All he knew was how to talk.

He spoke again. "You can't bring him back."

There was a pang in my heart. "What are you talking about?"

"You know."

"No I don't!! I have no clue what you're doing here at this very moment!"

"You know too. You just don't want to admit it. You don't want to believe that he's truly gone, that you'll never see him again."

My eyes began to water, "No…no…"

"Face it Connie, you have dreams of him every night. You face depression every day. Just to mention him you hurt. People move on…and mourners get left behind. You've already died on the outside."

Tears were falling now. "What do you care?! I've never met you before in my life!! You can't know how I feel!"

"Oh but I do. I was there when your fiancé died, I was there when your Mother and Father died; I know more about you than you will ever know. Like, would you like to know how Oscar felt when he died? What his last thoughts were?"

I covered my ears and tightly closed my eyes, "Stop it!!! Don't talk about him like that!!"

He was silent for a moment, then in a whisper he said, "Would you like to know what he's doing right now?" _Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!_

I uncovered my ears and looked at him worriedly, "Who are you?" And for some reason the strange darkness popped into my mind again.

He became silent once more, though this time his face finally broke from its stone appearance and looked rather confused.

"_Who are you?_" I edged closer to him. I couldn't have the picture erased from my mind.

He still didn't answer. I continued closer towards him, tears falling down my cheeks, until I got right in his face.

"Get out," I hissed. He didn't budge. "GET OUT!!!"

I then pushed him back, and he slammed into the door. Quickly turning I began to walk away sobbing when I heard him softly say, "If you had the chance to go back and relive his last few days with him, would you?"

I looked back at him and in an aggravated yet calm whisper I told him, "I told you to leave my house. I don't know what kind of cruel joke this is, but it's _not_ funny."

"Just answer the question, please."

I looked at him in disgust, "Why don't you answer mine?!?!?!"

The man sighed and glancing down at the ground and then back at me he began to speak. Not in the same voice, no. This one was more powerful, something that seemed like it could knock you off your feet, make you bow down and praise God Almighty. The voice in itself though, was indescribable. It was something beyond all imagination, resounding through the house. "Do you dare to look down upon me simply because of appearance? I am the Death Angel! Is that not what you requested?" He then perfectly imitated my voice, "Send an angel if you have to."

_Oh my God_, I thought recoiling at his out burst.

"No, not quite." He said to me, his voice returning to normal.

_Is he reading my mind?_

"I don't read minds, I know your thoughts, along with everyone else's in the world."

A slight smile crossed my lips. I never expected the Death Angel to look like this. I always figured he would look like Brad Pit. The thought almost made me chuckle, never knew I was still able to make a joke. The tears increased as my mood lightened and a small, "Oh my God" came from my lips.

"So now will you answer my question?"

_Yes_.

"O-Of course! That's why I prayed."

"But you have to keep your half of the bargain."

_Huh?_

"Many people who face extreme situations will pray to God asking for a favor and they make promises to him. But these people do not always keep their promises. They dismiss it as just luck and go on with their life. Will you?"

_For Oscar? Are you kidding?_

"Y—" I started to reply but he interrupted.

"I know."

I slightly nodded.

"Now, what's going to happen is when you wake up in the morning you will be three days ahead of his death. In those days you should do all that you wish you could've done with him that you dwell on now. But you can't alter the past, for if you do it will throw everything off balance. So the fact that you're from the future must never be known or you should never warn people of their future. If so, your time in the past ends and you will return to the present. You cannot change the fact that Oscar is going to die, just what you do during that time can you change. This must be clear."

I looked at him shocked, "Three days?!?! You must be joking! Do you expect for me to do everything I want to do in three days? Give me at least a month or two; maybe start right before we break up, so I can be there when they ask him for the job."

"I can't do that. Already I'm doing more than I should. After all, if I let everybody have the amount of time they wanted, there would be no 'fact' because it would change so often."

"So have there been others that have done this?"

"You're only my second."

"Who—"

"Do not question. The other person that this has happened to will not affect you in any way, so there is no reason in knowing. It will not change the fact that you have three days."

Really at that moment I probably should've been smiling for all it was worth, excitedly jumping up and down and thanking him, but I didn't. There was something about being in the presence of death. It's like, something tells you that you don't act excited around something like this. And the only thing that does feel right is to be serious. It's like when you're in a library; it's not like you don't have a choice to be loud or not, just something inside you tells you not to.

We stood there for a moment just in plain silence. Then, he slowly turned and opened my door. Looking back he said probably the most haunting words anyone has ever said to me: "I'll be watching." And then he closed the door. Now, those words may have not seemed so threatening if it was by a friend or a relative or something like that because, let's face it, they aren't going to watch you the whole time. But when Death says it, something about it puts a chill down your spine because, Death is _always_ watching. And if there is one slip up, there are no more chances.

As I went over the reasons why the Death Angel's last words were so freaky, a thing I forgot to do popped into my mind. Running to the door I opened it and began to say "Thank you" but as I looked out in front and on both sides of me I could find him nowhere. Shrugging my shoulders I closed the door and began to head into my bedroom when all of a sudden my TV turned on. It was the news channel. Again, pictures flashed in my mind, but this time it was the crackling and burning flames.

"Just last week, because of a wired circuit," The announcer began, "Three Crosses Baptist Church, located right next to the burial of the heroes who died in stopping the meteor, burned down. It was a tragic event and unfortunately the preacher, Philip Limming, was in the building when the fire broke out and died before help arrived. Nobody's actually sure how he got killed, but one hint might be that when the firemen arrived the doors were locked. Lately—"

I quickly changed the channel. _Oh my God_. My hand was clasped over my mouth and I couldn't help but feel the fear again. I had a conversation with a dead man. Not to mention in a ghost church. This has got to be a dream. Or well, I hope not. I want to wake up and be able to see Oscar again. But the Death Angel wasn't through with my surprises. As I changed the channel I came upon another news station.

"This just in, a car accident occurred on the highway about an hour ago. Driving home from a prom with his date, Casey Adams flipped his car when he lost sight of the road from the downpour of rain. The car slid and went rolling off the road into a ditch. The girl, though severely injured, is fine. But the boy, Casey, was killed." As the reporter spoke, a picture of the boy flashed up on the screen.

He had dark skin.

He had dreadlocks.

He had calm sea green eyes.

_Oh my God_. Now I know why the Death Angel looked familiar. This Casey Adams was the number one player for our county's football team. And the Death Angel arrived here about an hour ago. It all fit together. Oh my God. That was all that I could think of right now. This wasn't something normal. Not every day do people encounter ghosts. Oh God. Make that _two_ dead people that I've had a conversation with.


End file.
